dumb.

would  be surprise that i actually update my blog at such time.

well, things just happened.

sigh~

i wonder how long i have neglect my blog.

i lost on count man.

about 2 weeks i guess.

well, that is not important after all.

is 5.40am.

yet i am awake.

actually i just came back from clubbing.

yea poppy.

this is the whole darn time that i actually feel sucks going club.

not only because of the crowds.

but also shit do happen.

i hate to say it.

but it just happen.

alright.

came home end up emo.

how the hell this happen man.

i tot i changed.

well, i tot she changed too.

gosh.

how many i should waste my tears for someone like this.

saying that people are dumb doing this.

but i am also one of them.

i tot i let go a lot.

but i was wrong.

over estimated i guess.

sigh~

no one to blame but myself.

not her fault.

just me.

cuz i am still that dumb.

i guess i should cry because i am dumb.

not because of her.

i can't believe i am typing this actually.

because i am dumb.

and yet again i am typing this.

i tot life like this was a past.

but is still farking here.

is fucking still here.

it doesn't go away.

argh.

i felt angry for myself.

i should have throw temper toward anyone but i never did.

is this what i change instead?

i should felt shame for being a failure again.

now only i realize that i am still the same.

change what?

nothing.

fuck it ok.

just fuck it.

life sucks.

when am i gonna truly wake up?

when?

not enough keh?

for losing a girl already.

what do i want?

what?

liking a girl that doesn't appreciate again?

damn.

this is no me.

no longer  me ok.

well, after all.

i am just ter-perasan.

haha~

i should laugh at myself.

for what?

for being a lame ass.

so lame.

fuck u.

control what?

fuck.

i did control my fucking tears.

but it still flow.

what am i suppose to do?

make my eyes blind?

ok fuck it.

i should be peace of mind.

stay calm.

what am i thinking?

please remind yourself that,

You are still that dumb!

farker!

use brain.

ciaoz.