One.

Finally.

sorry for not updating my blog.

i have been really busy and really lazy.

lol

i seriously lost my memories about what i did for the past 2 weeks.

argh. i am so old already.

i went for lunch, dinner, club, basketball, yum cha, movies and err. i don't know man.

i pack my whole week full with activities.

i can't afford to let myself feel bored.

hopeless betul.

met most of my friends.

had great time with them =)

okie okie, why not let me check on my daily planner first.

hmmm. then i can tell you in more details. lol

I can remember myself having buffet lunch with coo at tenji.

then, explored the new club at the gardens, G6.

packing at the apartment with the aunt.

drank Hoegaarden. lol

wanted to try out some food at puchong with coo but hopelessly it didn't open on monday.

yum cha at pappa rich.

err, watched avatar finally.

meet up with dumm at bangsar. then pool at midvalley.

bought some dvd.

went to ikea and popular.

watched "the hangover" at home at night with coo and sweetheart.

sing k at pavilion redbox plus with zera and gang.

to college, explore a lil.

basketball with chin loong and friends at 8am on saturday.

Movie with sweetheart at gardens. Legion sucks.

yum cha at setapak after movie with ben and gang.

gone shopping for properties with the aunt on sunday.

and today, went lunch with coo and sweetheart at bangsar.

then, head to borders garden starbucks.

well, these are stuff that i can remember so far. lol

i am so lazy to continue writing here.

i feel so lazy in doing everything.

i don't wanna play my games too. tekken 6! i got it finally.

i wanna set up my printer but i am just so lazy to do so.

hopeless.

i am staying home tomorrow.

that is one sad shit.

what can i do?

i miss you already ♥

heart you so so so much.

lazy lazy lazy. ciaoz.

*friends, lovers or nothing. we can only be one.*

Unstable

Time for shits and stuff.

today i am gonna talk about life.

i am extremely down since yesterday. i hate being like this. why i have to go through so much shits?

i am sad. what? the ugly truth?

damn. i can't force a smile on my face at all.

I AM SO FREAKING SAD.

i bet i gonna be emo for the whole week. i don't know what's wrong.

i just don't know why it has to be so bothering me.

how am i gonna be happy when the one that made me sad is the one that can cheer me up?

sigh.

i don't know why that i love her so much that sometimes i can't fall asleep at night.

that thing in my heart. damn. i can feel the pain.

i thought you are different. but sometimes you prove me wrong.

i hate to see that you and her are just the same. can you actually understand how i feel?

i never want to compare but sometimes you leave me no choice.

why? why you have to be like this? living with not making up your mind.

i hate myself getting drunk and saying things that i don't wanna know.

and now, i am lost.

i don't know what i want anymore.

you made me feel that i had make the wrong decision. but again, i am still helplessly in love with you.

is it my fault that i think like this? or maybe i am just not moving on?

do you know that you actually mean so much to me that i can't even imagine myself being like this just because of you?

maybe i should just get a week and think about this. i really got no mood at all.

i seriously hate myself doing things that i not suppose to. but yet i can't control myself.

i don't know. i am really tired of this.

okie. hopeless zoie, maybe you are right. i really agree with what you said.

you should know what am i saying here.

today, i am actually very down. i don't feel like talking to her man.

but hopelessly, i wanted to see her so badly, that i actually went to her college there, chilling at the starbucks with wei yin. why? cause i just want to see her.

what is wrong with me? i really can't explain this.

a big big SIGH.

i think i should force myself to sleep as i need to wake up early tomorrow.

i should keep myself busy. but that doesn't mean it can stop bothering me.

sadness betul.

i am so broke recently. and yet i am jobless.

damn. CEO of MOH betul. freaking hopeless.

i seriously feel like slapping myself.

the end.

* Hate me but i love you.

Lovely

Damn. what a tiring day again.

my energy level = 0.10% now.

woke up kinda early due to that feeling unwell. drank 100 plus. and went back to sleep again.

got up at 11am. phone calls and sms. argh! plus that someone keep noisy me to wake up =)

what you expect. i slept at 5am and so freaking drunk. again.

when is the last time you see me not drunk? Lol.

i heard all sort of hopeless stuff i did again. Yea, CEO. that's why.

Yesterday was 7th. it wasn't bad at all. i had a great day!

went to ikea with the aunties in the afternoon. be the driver again.

wonder in ikea for like 3 hours? i feel like dying serious. plus i need to carry those blardy heavy stuff. i am totally dead.

tot of having some time to sleep in the afternoon. but my plan crashed. aiks.

i reached home like 7pm. i didn't have the time to rest at all.

dinner then shower. wonder around plus a lil fb. then off i go.

off to my driver job. lol

i managed to arrive zouk before 11 pm. good driving skill that's why. lol

i can't wait for it. i love 4play man =)

we had a freaking huge group i would say.

like 20 of us? haha. the table can't even fit us all. our group of people is like everywhere.

we finished our arak like so early. hopeless betul.

oh yea, and this is our so called hopeless club session too.

most of our hopeless members are there. we even took the group picture. check out facebook for more info and pictures.

again. i have no idea why i am being drunk. i got so excited.

maybe didn't meet up some friends for quite some time. or i just drank too much. lol

hopeless thing is, i actually went up the stage and dance. wtf.

first time okie. and i had no idea why i will go up there by myself. and dance freaking long.

ah kok wei. wtf. i can't believe it.

another hopeless thing would be me sleeping at the road again. is not roadside. is actually parking space. lol.

bear with me, maybe i am just too tired. and wants to sleep. freaking hopeless.

well, some other hopeless shits i did? haha.

not gonna mention here. you guys know about it.

you get the idea of why i am the CEO of MOH now? Lol.

I seriously had a great night. i have to apologize to some of my friends too, for not having to spend much time with them.

4play is a bomb man. i love it. i am sure we gonna have more of it next time.

most of all, i am happy cuz my dear sweetheart is there with me =)

remember me saying that spending the day with you would take those bad luck away?

it proven now. you made my day.

you seriously have the ability to turn my bad day to a great day.

thanks for bearing with me yesterday. i know i am very mkf, but you were there for me.

and i am sorry for being so troublesome.

today. i went to kl. for the fortune teller thingy. 3 hopeless people. lol.

my leg was freaking pain. i had no idea why.

then when the time we go home. freaking jam okie.

i am in the jam for like 2 freaking hour. and i gonna get crazy seriously.

plus i am so freaking tired. i seriously feel like getting down the car and just walk.

but one thing, i am slightly more patience now. one good thing of cuz. keep it up.

reached home at 8 pm. i am like a dead fish. damn.

not to forget this. the protest and the burning of churches.

omg. i don't know what should i say here. but it just a small matter and "they" brought it up like some big matter. wth.

what is wrong with these people? one malaysia? is this what you called unite?

more like racism please.

Time for me to stay home more often.

work next week? still thinking. i guess i am really hopeless. lol

i got tons of movies to catch up.

phuture tomorrow? or movie? selective problem man.

i am so tired now. freaking tired. two restless nights. kill me man.

i think i should sleep early tonight. so do you.

missing you already =)

*You filled my day with happiness and i would do anything, just to see the smile on your face*

Habit

I think i got the habit of eating supper.

but is the same thing for every night.

cheese with 2 piece of bread. even it doesn't satisfy my tummy much but i just like it.

lol

i did stuck at home today. went out for lunch with wei yin as she forced me to do so.

did some hopeless stuff with her. not to mention here.

watched one of the dvd. "the ugly truth".

it laugh the hell out of me. it freaking funny actually.

didn't really have the mood for a nap.

the weather today is seriously killing me. freaking hot wei.

i gonna freaking melt so soon. lol

pick my aunt from the airport. speed like hell.

tiring now.

can't wait for tomorrow man. well, even it is 7th.

a bad date to me always.

somehow i believe that spending the day with you would keep me away from those bad luck.

i make sure i gonna enjoy and be happy tomorrow.

opps. is already 12. so is today. lol.

nothing much. just to crap so shit as i am freaking bored.

*you make my day today. i miss you so much.*

Adore

I am a lil boring now.

soon i gonna die of boredom.

lol

i got a feeling.

i am feeling a lil hungry.

=.=

what am i made of man? i ate so much today. and i am feeling hungry now. wtf.

argh. i am so lazy to look for food.

Is only 11.30pm right now. I won't be sleeping early tonight. so i still need to look for food. lol.

okie okie.

what did i do today?

hopelessly went for lunch with COO and DJ @mv.

crap so much. stupid jokes.

i actually feel so hopeless. doing nothing for the whole day.

i wanna watch movie laaaaa. anyone free to layan me not?

i got sherlock holmes, avatar, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus and surprisingly Muallaf in my list.

i don't think i have so much time to watch all of them. Dvd again. lol.

speaking about Dvd, if i am not mistaken, i still got some movies to catch up with.

Maybe i should watch them tomorrow since i got nothing on.

should be meeting jen, but i ffk her cuz is so darn early. lol.

need to go to the airport tomorrow. picking my aunt. speeding again. wohoo.

and prepare to die cuz i sure gonna kena from her. alamak.

Perhaps i gonna work next week. hopefully man.

if not i gonna stone at home and turn into stone one day. lol.

my intern plan just crashed. cuz i am just so hopeless.

time to work on my new year resolution please.

haha. enough of all the shit.

i should finish up my novel by this week. i don't want it to be an display item. lol.

okie. i got a feeling.

*I miss my dear sweetheart angel so much that i wish i can see her right now and tell her that i actually love her so much till i can't let go of her.*

Haha.

*Iloveyoumorethananythingelseintheworld*

True

*Ryan Cabrera - True*

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

you might think
I don't look
but deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me!

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
the way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

*******************************************************************

Came across this song when i was driving home just now. forget to mention, i actually went library again. Lol.

three day in a row. great.

a song from my emo thumbdrive.

i always love this song.

and now, at this moment, i feel this is so my song, so what i think.

i am sad but i don't wanna be emo.

ciaoz.

Change.

Okie.

time for another post.

i was so freaking bored. what you expect right? is sunday. sunday is always gonna be a relaxing day.

i did mine. i woke up kinda late like 1pm. had my lunch and do nothing then.

finally i got my ass off and search for job.

thank god. i seriously have no idea wtf i gonna look for. just simply browsing through.

i got some suitable one. but i need to think about that first.

and now, i should be fixing my resume. but i am so lazy.

then, looking for article in "how to write a smart resume". that sounds lame. as if some of them already works.

however, i did get some points from there. Lol.

i was again, a lil emo.

i hate to say this but i can't help it.

i am so bored and tired with those emo post i had here. i bet most of my friends felt the same way too. Lol

i wonder how many times i told myself to stop writing emo post but it just won't happen.

it like endless. time to seriously think about this.

i am no longer that young anymore. sounds like an old man here. lol

i should think a lil about what is gonna happen even though we all gonna die in 2012.

Haha. nah, i was just kidding. don't take it seriously.

too much of movies i guess, it makes you go nuts.

I got some good advices today.

hello. is blardy 2010. is new year. wtf are you doing here?

stoning, getting drunk and emo-ing? go get a life please. Lol

i was just trying to wake myself up. sleeping too long and dream to much.

time for a change and time to try my fucking best.

instead of just talking talking and talking. and ended doing nothing at all.

this is not gonna be me anymore. time to move on and stop looking at the past.

2009 is a bad year, so what? Then make 2010 a better. why wanna mourning here?

we keep good and happy memories and throw those bad ones away. Why keep mentioning when is already a past?

Time to change. just like Obama's slogan, "Change, we can believe in".

Time for some new year resolution perhaps?

yea, i gonna have one long list about it. and Xem, i waiting to see yours. we can compare how hopeless is our contents gonna be.

I don't usually have this habit of having new year resolution.

maybe i am old now. Lol. and i got more mature.

okie. maybe this shit could just motivate me a lil bit.

Let's have a look at the list. Haha.

1. Study harder and stop being lazy. (I can't afford to be in another semester.)

2. be a positive thinker. (So that i can emo less.)

3. drink less and drunk less. (Time to be health conscious.)

4. set a goal in life. (then i could live my life with a direction.)

5. Try even if is impossible. (Nothing is impossible, am i right?)

6. More exercise and sports please. (I want to be fit. XD)

7. Save more spend less. (Less financial problem then.)

8. learn to love myself better and enjoy life. (more happiness i guess.)

9. better time management, procrastinate less. (no more doubting.)

10. control my temper. (this is a must.)

11. swear less? (Lol. i will try)

12. Be patient. (angry less.)

13. think less, worry less.

14. Take up challenges. (I love challenges.)

15. Stop hesitate, just do it. (what are you waiting for?)

16. Mo more last minute works. (I am tired it.)

17. A better lifestyle?

18. help those who are hopeless. Haha. (that's why i am the CEO of MOH.)

19. spend more time with my family. (Family is the gold.)

Lastly.

20. Make up my mind in everything and be sure about what i want in life. (good point, so that people won't always said that i don't even know what i want.)

Long enough? Haha.

Xem, we can exchange now. Lol.

i wonder can i actually make those changes above. hmm, let see then.

time for a different. A better Jay Kok.

Okie okie. i have been stuck in my room for like 4 hours already.

i need to get some fresh air.

who wanna play sport with me now? haha.

feeling a lil hungry pula =.=

stupid weather make me feel a lil headache.

hate it.

i think i gotta stop here.

i don't miss you today, i am just thinking about you. Lol.

okie. Happy new year peeps.

We believe in change =)

*one more thing. another new year resolution perhaps? You. I am gonna get you no matter how many obstacles i gonna go through. No matter what happen, i won't give up at all.*

Hope

Here it comes 2010.

what a relief.

goodbye 2009, my fucking sadness year.

second day of 2010.

so darn boring man.

i am in old town now. waiting for my doggie. with my aunties.

house connection sucks.

my new year eve was alright.

didn't went for countdown at those blardy crowded places.

instead, i had a so called house party with family and friends.

it was great. the bbq was cool. the food is so blardy black. lol

thanks to that kelvin.

ended up i didn't really eat anything. busy bbq-ing the food pula.

crazy aunties keep drinking, so do me.

i am not sure how many bottle of wine we took.

drink drank and drunk. i am always drunk.

the session ended at about 1 something.

i went to find wei yin after that. yum cha at mamak.

i was kinda sad. sad on the new year day. damn.

does it bring bad luck to my whole year?

but, i get to spend my new year with her. i didn't wanna let go of her.

hmm. is getting complicated. but i love her.

my new year day was alright.

woke up at 12 plus.

i couldn't get up at all. due to sleeping at 5am that night.

so ended up, i ffk my family for the lunch.

and rest a lil at home.

ashley called, ask to go library.

drink again. lol

so i went, and drink like shit.

we order like 10 pints. and free 10 pints.

Hoegarden. i just love it.

fuck, ended up fucking drunk.

and is only 7pm in the evening. lol

dinner with my family.

drive home with fucking drunkenness.

pick my family and eat with drunkenness.

lol.

i guess i gonna used to it already.

living with drunkenness.

sadness betul.

maybe gonna go library study again. lol

i am tired of being drunk.

aiks.

i really need to go to work already.

i am so fucking hopeless.

no mood at all.

shit. how can i be like that?

hmm. i miss you already.

will update more soon.

ciao.

*you worth more than anything in the world to me.*