Just so you know

Jesse McCartney - Just so you know

I shouldn't love you but i want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but i can't move
I can't look away

And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings takin control of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it before you go
Just so you know

It's gettin hard to be around you
Theres so much i can't say
And do you want me to hide the feelings
And look away

And i dont know how to be fine when i'm not
Cause i don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feelings takin control of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know

This emptyness is killin me
I'm wonderin why i've waited so long
Lookin back i realize it was always there to be spoken
Now i'm waitin here
Been waitin here

Just so you know
This feelings takin control of me and i can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know


Quite a good song for me~
=)
Related to both as well.
aiks.

Nothing much.
i am working now.
i guess my work is like online only.
not bad huh.

blardy hot here.
can't wait for the off day tomorrow.
ahaa~
craving to shop so much.

missing someone.
ah ah, rubbish.
=)

words of the day = still going on with my life with the love for YOUs

Jay @ bored

Daze

Hey there~

midnight blogging.

ahaha.

nothing much, just wanna update stuff here.

already 29/12 today.

2008 gonna end soon.

well, hurry then. It hasn't been a good year for me thou.

hopefully 2009 will be a better one.

so whaddup?

work as usual.

one thing good about that work is the internet connection is really fast there.

besides that, is bored XD

alright.

went to poppy on the saturday night.

our usual spot, is so packed.

=.=

but somehow, had a crazy night.

didn't get drunk as well.

so behave huh.

duh, i have to take care of certain people.

and the chivas finish so farking fast.

what so ever, at least i enjoyed thou.

cuz is my so called "putus cinta clubbing".

my goodness, what is wrong with me?

ahaha.

bet you guys don't know what am i crap about here.

nah, just some random stuff.

actually i really don't know what i want.

sometimes is better to not realize than realize about it.

actions show, don't they?

sometimes you can' t denied it.

i know my feelings.

actually i am torn.

wasn't recover from the last incident yet.

but somehow now, so other thing came in.

maybe is not true?

just my imagination perhaps?

aiks.

hate it man.

i just said i wanna be gay, but then now........

i am somehow lost.

perhaps i just be gay.

i am so sick of girls.

and getting hurts.

and falling with wrong person.

=.=

i am having complicated feelings.

somehow haven't move  on yet.

but somehow, found something new.

see, what the hell i want man.

both are such hard task.

argh!

don't know what the hell am i talking here.

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

my new year eve plan still pending there.

don't know where to head to.

everywhere is jam packed with humans.

arh, so sickness.

well, i am sure i won't be staying at home.

ahaa.

but, i am going zouk on the new day itself.

can't wait for it.

=)

i guess nothing much to cakap here.

hmm.

a lil stress.

what am i suppose to do?

god, please give me some wisdom.

oh yea, i just realized i have been acting like a fool.

=.=

people called me fool as well.

somehow, i am such a bad person from the view of other person.

or should i say that, i am bad in nature?

you can call me playboy or even farker.

i don't give a damn.

but somehow i never play girls around.

when i said i love them, i do mean it.

so don't fucking think i am bull shitting here.

i don't fucking care you are people's bf or who so ever.

don't come fucking mess with me.

none of your fucking business.

alright, don't fucking judge me from one fucking thing i do.

use your mother farker brain to think before you talk.

get pissed man.

somehow got some stupid ass nonsense around.

what so ever.

last sentence to conclude here.

i will never lose in my life. 

ciaoz.

words of the day = nobody ever say  you can't court a girl that has a boyfriend.

Jay @ confused

Fragments

Christmas just passed.

Is just another day for me.

unlike last year, i was having feast with turkey and foods.

got a present from my sis.

somehow, i should say that this christmas is not a good one.

sighness.

what to do.

i am working, plus is double pay for christmas.

the 6th day of working.

nothing much, boring and sometimes fun.

but somehow, time passed by really fast.

bored with work, but if never work then gotta feel bored as well.

so must well just bored with work, at least can get pay right?

my buddy, pinky and wei yin are working with me.

both of them complaint everyday, i really can't stand it.

no work to do also wanna noisy. *shake head*

bull shitting everyday only, eat, watch movie and online.

these are what we do during work.

even christmas eve was sucks.

actually was having this so called house party.

but somehow not so party at all.

what we do was just play ps3, mahjong and poker.

some of them even complaint that is boring.

even worst is some of them actually ffk me.

sighness~

what so ever, i don't wanna mention bout it anymore.

what is worst that, they don't even know what to do on new year eve.

pissed with it man.

not comfirm and all, don't want this and that.

fuck it ok.

don't make me mad ok, if not i gonna stay home only.

can't even come up with some plan.

what's wrong with these people?

Still cough and a lil flu and sore throat.

i was better actually but after had a lil of chivas and cigarette, those virus back again.

skip my medicine for few days. 

i am tired of not eating food i wanna eat and cold drinks.

what so ever.

let me die only if can't recover.

nowadays really having some bad temper.

well, i always been bad temper but now i am worst.

sometimes i felt scare of myself.

i can't recognize who the hell am i.

get pissed suddenly and crazy only.

not only that, fucking scold people.

i think i will beat people soon.

i know i am like this.

but somehow i can't control myself.

i am like one crazy fellow.

i seriously don't know what's wrong with me.

what is bothering me?

sometimes i really hate myself.

don't even know what i want.

i always don't know what i want in my life.

for the 21 years in this world, i still can't decide what i want in life.

should i call myself hopeless?

i wasn't in the mood today.

i don't wanna mention why.

but i always wanna let this feeling go.

it hurts me.

damn.

"sometimes you left me wonder, sometimes you left me speechless.

It wasn't you, it was my bad. I left to no choice, so i pull off then to realize that pulling off is that i gave up.

I don't wanna suffer so i gave up. Did i make the wrong choice? No or Yes? I am in doubt, as i am suffering now too. You wasn't the best, neither i. Nobody is perfect, ain't nobody is not self-fish. You are the reason why i am thinking, you are like my disease. I try to move on, which you already did. You are my regret and my mistake. Well, which i not even sure that a good thing or a bad thing. Funny is that i called my friend dumb for what ever thing he do, but not realizing that i am just like him. What i can say is love is blind. No matter how bad the someone you love, you still wanna help them and wanna stay in love with them. Even when they don't love you anymore, you still wanna wait for them, hoping that you still have the chance. Some people may think that this is an act of stupidness but when it comes to you, you wouldn't realize that you are just the same. This is human nature, we can't change that. Every single day, i stop myself from thinking of you. I don't wanna bother, don't wanna care. When i can't sleep at night, i hate it the most cuz i am gonna think about you and keeps wondering. I miss everything. Some people said that you are not worth for this, some said just forget bout it. I try to get you out of my mind but this is not an easy task. I don't get it, i seriously don't. What is the thing that make me fall so deep? For the first time in my life, i am loving something that i didn't had before or should i say something that i am not gonna get it. Nobody gonna understand how i feel, neither i. Maybe i should just think about this, is not gonna go on like this. Fuck, i hate this. I hate it cuz i am bad in making decision. what so ever, just so you know, this feeling taking control of me, i can't help it. I try my best to let go of you but i don't want to. Here i am without you, drink to all that we have lost, mistakes we have made, everything will change but love remains the same."

nothing much.

just some random thinking in my mind.

don't bother man.

Jay kok is somehow different now.

sighness~

gosh.

have to work tomorrow.

need to sleep really soon.

hopefully i can sleep later.

aiks.

this year just passed by like this.

so many things happened which i can't even remember some of them.

somehow, this is one eventful year.

but not a good year for me.

what so ever.

god hasn't been really good to me.

family went to ipoh, cousin went sabah.

home alone for few days.

well, better off alone.

with my dog at least.

what did i not include here?

i guess that's all.

Merry Christmas people.

May god bless you people always.

ciaoz.

words of the day = love remains the same

Jay @ mood-less 

Anti

Well. my last post was so parental advisory.

and some people tend to ter-perasan and tot i am scolding her.

ahaha.

what so ever la ok.

you girls wanna get pissed then just go ahead man.

i don't give a damn.

i don't wanna waste my time on this blardy small matter anymore please.

is so fucking lame and childish.

this is the reason i rather give up.

i don't wanna talk to any of them.

they made me pissed.

for the first time, i feel the hate for her.

i told bobok that i don't wanna be friend with her anymore.

imagine that wei, me and her was good friend.

cuz of one blardy matter.

even that day she called me, i don't feel like talking to her anymore.

thanks to bobok that come and cari pasal.

she somehow make me pissed.

then the things she told me made me even more pissed.

cuz i don't  understand why those people so like to gossip about people, 

so you think we don't have our own privacy huh?

i was fucking pissed.

i didn't talk to anyone for a day.

don't wanna pick up phone calls.

i don't get it, especially joe.

i fucking pissed with her the most.

so my last post shoot her kao kao.

i admit.

whatever it is.

i am glad it is over.

i don't mean to scold you people childish.

i mean like joe, she deleted me from friendster.

that is an act of childish.

i don't even bother ok.

you girls wanna do whatever you like ok.

just don't come mess with my life anymore.

one thing clear, i darn scare of girls now.

they are somehow one dangerous animal.

i handle it well.

i just let go everything like that.

not even in my plan.

and i start to enjoy my life with my friends.

so, friends are always the first for me.

on tuesday itself, i have the whole gang at my house.

as if like open party like that.

watched 2 movies.

eat mcd, play mahjong.

lucky that xem and ben not here.

if not, my house sure runtuh already.

ahahaha.

they are like wanna tear off my house.

bed also gonna spoil man.

it was fun to have something like this.

but somehow i fucked bobok like anything man.

i am sorry bout that.

you know, recently i just like to get crazy.

then at night, went to ac for dinner and pool session.

been quite some time never play pool.

still alright thou.

nothing much on wednesday.

woke up then watch movie at home alone.

fucking sad huh.

then head to bobok's place.

cuz we are going pasar malam.

at last, brought bd and xian along.

ahaha.

that xian so cham, every time also let me force her out.

blardy hell, reach there already 10 something.

fucking jam and packed with humans.

somehow manage to walk.

and bought baby milo tees, the four of us.

ahaha.

crazy man.

till like 12 something.

cepat lari.

send xian home then to bobok's place.

itu mak dia noisy noisy.

susah pun.

lepak at her place with bd.

then went home at 3am.

ahaha.

padan muka right, everyday sleep so late.

no wonder get sick again.

blardy cough still like that.

even worst, as if i am dying soon.

now, flu also.

just now had a lil fever, told some medicine and rest.

now i am better.

guess what.

went interview today.

with bobok and wei yin.

for the p1 broadband.

finally, we found job~

ahaha.

somehow i think is not bad.

just that have to work 6 days a week.

and must work in weekend.

don't care man.

gonna work still.

don't wanna stay home or lepak everyday.

so, tomorrow going for training.

and start work on saturday.

then if i am better on saturday, at night heading to the club.

going poppy~

so, better pray that i am not sick anymore.

darn sad, tonight can't go mixtape.

hmm, what else i have to include?

guess i don't really have much time to update my blog if i am working already.

so bear with it ok? 

i will somehow try my best to update you guys.

gosh.

tomorrow heading for some chinese medical treatment.

sadness~

at night, steamboat with family? that see how.

depends on whether to go for movie not.

the gang said wanna make a christmas eve party at my place.

=.=

lots of work to do man.

that depends whether i get to book the poolside or not.

better still, so i no need to think where to go or with which gang of people.

if make party, all the gang also gonna be here wad.

so please, let me have the poolside.

damn.

not feeling tired.

how wei.

so, that's it i guess.

life is somehow complicated huh.

ciaoz.

word of the day = we shall not hate but forgive.

Jay @ cough*