disaster

I think i am down with flu.

sigh

a horrible week.

yea, the whole week has been a disaster.

and i am so tired of it.

well, from this week.

it makes me realized that love is just dumb.

even better if you applied it into dumb people.

awww.

not to forget i am dumb as well.

haha.

okie, lame.

it has been bad.

ups and downs.

nobody even give a damn.

so what for doing so much?

argh, sick of it.

well.

my point here is "Is not easy to be ah kok".

people might think i am good.

i am dumb or nice to bully.

behind all this, ah kok is not like that.

i have so many burdens which i am tired of carrying it.

i have problems where no one is there to care about.

the other way round, i am trying so hard to help people.

when people don't even give a damn to what i do to them.

you think is easy huh?

to be me?

sometimes i don't wanna be myself as well.

some people might thinks that what i do is bad.

trying to harm them or whatever.

that's why i said doing good things don't get good return.

so by looking at this fact.

i have to make a decision.

is alright to not getting any good return.

at least that i am happy that i did something good.

others don't appreciate is their problem.

no point being bad because of this right.

what for?

if is it so hard to be friend with me then let me know.

i am being nice here.

if you think that you want to avoid me,

then go ahead.

if you think you are happy this way,

go ahead.

changing someone is not easy.

especially those complicated people.

sometimes i wonder why there is such human in this world that act like this.

i tried but still the same.

so what for trying?

let them die where they want to.

i am saying here because i know that someone is not happy with me.

thinks that i am fake or did something bad to her.

thinks that everything i do is trying to ruin her life.

so let it be.

no matter what you think, i am doing what i am suppose to do.

as a friend or what.

hate me for who i am.

because being ah kok is not easy.

please do care about my feelings.

i don't care what you think about me.

it doesn't matter anymore.

just because of one fella.

everything is a mess.

just because you are dumb.

everything seems to get worst.

it is worth?

is not easy to be me.

as those who knows why.

you guys should understand my situation

i am currently in complicated situation

stuck in the middle of nowhere.

thanks for supporting me.

for everything i do, there is a reason to it.

ciao.