Sad

Ahhh.

looking at the live scores for the chelsea match really pissed me off.

what is wrong with the blues man?

damn.

hopefully a better second half alright.

i just did a mask.

thanks sis for it.

my face is getting like a piece of shit.

ain't no attractive anymore. Lol.

i seriously have to make over for my appearance.

if not i gonna have a fucking zombie face.

and i need a hair cut.

yea, wednesday gonna head for a hair cut.

i wasn't really wanna blog today.

but i kind of in the mood.

so here i am crapping about shits and stuff.

i did nothing today.

had a half day yum cha session.

better than me staying home and think the shit out of me right.

it was tiring.

i have no idea why.

i just can't get myself to work.

not in that mood yet.

damn.

feel so hopeless.

no wonder i am the CEO of MOH.

the head of hopeless betul.

i am so free now.

no idea what can i do.

started to think again.

sometimes i just don't wanna think but i just can't.

i do wonder what got into me that i am being like this now.

why it has to be girls that always bring me down.

why i always fall for same type of girls.

why i have to fall so deep that i don't even think of pulling myself out.

why? why? why?

i hate this. seriously.

cuz i can't get the answer to them.

every single post, is so emo.

when can i stop being like this?

i am so tired with this kinda life.

how i wish i could just runaway from all this shits.

and live a simple and happy life.

sigh.

*************************************************************************

a lil confession*

sometimes i am curious about what kind of person are you.

i have no idea what you want at all.

your favorite response is i don't know.

i seriously wonder what are you thinking sometimes.

i feel that i don't understand you at all, not knowing you well.

i am suffering and i don't know how i gonna tell you this.

i did try to pull myself out at first but it ended up going even deeper.

what is it that make me fall so deep?

everyday i will take a lil time to think, why it has to be you?

sometimes i get speechless when i think of the reason of me falling for you.

you weren't the best or should i say that, not the type i want.

but to me, you are just special in some way. and you are definitely not the blardy replacement.

i heard a lot about you and it confused me. I get moody because i feel that i had made a wrong decision.

i started to doubt about what i actually want. do i really like you or what?

somehow, i can't help falling for you. i got worried.

i know, i am liking someone who is so impossible. someone i couldn't get a chance with.

and wtf am i doing now? falling deeper and deeper.

the worst is i don't even think of giving up. not giving up is good but sometimes is an act of stupidness as well.

believing in hard work do pay off shit? i seriously doubt.

i did so much, just hoping for something in return.

and what i get always? nothing in return. no, i get hurt in return. every single time.

should i say god is unfair to me? or this is just my punishment for all the sins i did?

i am not trying to be negative thinking here.

just that i don't see any bright light there. i can only see darkness.

i am just chasing after a broken dream. and get myself into a even deeper shit. waiting for rejection? damn.

i hate being sad but i just can't help it. when i can stop being emo?

damn.

i was even fucking sad the other night. the night after club.

i found myself in tears when i was driving home alone. wtf.

i thought i won't, cause i didn't know that you actually mean so much to me.

emotional breakdown i would say.

i wonder, do you actually know that how much you mean to me. do you actually care? care about how i feel.

and wtf. i get so emotional now and i feel like..........

damn.

i do really like you. very much.

i might do everything hopelessly. but liking you is not a hopeless thing at all.

i am trying my best. be confident. and think positive.

okie. i got so fucking hurt right now.

my brain is full of sadness.

*****************************************************************************

i think i will update soon.

last few days of 2009.

let me emo till the end of 2009.

damn.

and give me a good start of 2010.

take care peeps.

*btw, chelsea is now 2-1 up. are you telling me to believe in hard work? or miracle. whatever.*

*you wouldn't know how important are you to a particular someone.*

Blank

It's 27th today.

Damn.

what am i thinking about?

another 4 days to go.

then we gotta welcome 2010.

i was wondering.

how my 2010 gonna be.

Hmm.

another sucks year perhaps?

oh please, cheer me up a lil.

i had enough of shits.

i don't want another 2009 man.

this year is not the fucking year for me at all.

fucking miserable year.

i am glad it gonna end so soon.

praying for a better year ahead.

okie.

yesterday was a shit day ever.

i have no idea why.

since morning, my brain is like fucking stuck.

like brainless. lol

well, maybe due to what i have heard.

damn.

i went to mv then. with the COO of MOH. lol

i went to collect my jeans.

i headed to the wrong alter shop. wtf.

when i reach the alter shop, i wanted to go pay for parking.

okie fine.

i go pack food for my aunt. i got the wrong noodle.

when i was heading to club, i miss the turn go straight langsung.

i was suppose to go poppy, i went to the zouk direction.

and the worst is, i forget to inform my friend that we are heading to poppy.

so ended up, he went to the gardens. damn. wtf.

wtf wtf wtf.

my mind seriously got cover by her man.

currently reading a novel by my favorite author, Mitch Albom.

The title of the book, "have a little faith".

if you have heard of the book "the five people you meet in heaven".

yea, this is the author. and you should know what kind of novel is gonna be.

i bought another novel as well.

"the time traveler's wife"

i know this is so not me. i wanted to watch the movie but i didn't. so i guess the book would be better.

i don't usually buy novel, once in a while. and kinokuniya is having some kinda promotion. and is cheap if you get more books.

i am so stoning now.

i don't know what am i thinking.

don't know what i want.

damn.

complicated. hopeless betul.

how wei?

okie.

in conclusion, i don't wanna give up.

from the start, i didn't even plan to give up.

if you think i am stupid, yes i am.

give up is not my thing man.

if you know me well, you should know this.

yuh.

i hate to say this.

but i miss her already.

lol.

i am so bored right now.

but i am tired of going out.

no mood.

I am sad right now.

i seriously need something to cheer me up.

damn.

i want a good start for my 2010.

aaaaaaaaaa.

pity me boleh tak.

leave me alone.

ciao.

thanks zera for cheering me up.

and always there for me when i am down.

so do Ryan and Zoie.

*if we crawl till we can walk again, then we will run until we are strong enough to jump, then we will fly until there is no wind"

Livestrong

Hola~

i am back!

I was kinda busy recently.

at the same time not knowing what can i crap in here.

lol

a busy month.

just got back from the singapore trip on tuesday.

it was a tiring one.

too much walking and spending.

i am so broke now.

=(

overall was cool.

got what i wanted except for one.

argh. not gonna mention bout that.

hmm.

i got to layan my friends then.

going out too much.

and one thing.

i can drink now!

finally.

long awaited man.

but have to take care too.

i seriously don't know what can i crap here anymore.

bored.

hopeless life i got now.

eat, sleep, hang out, yum cha, club.

man, go get a life please.

so called jobless.

lol

can i have some better activities for myself?

need to go for some sport i guess.

okie.

back to studies.

results are out.

i did badly.

but lucky to pass all.

expecting better but okie, whatever.

i am so bored now.

not knowing what can i do.

wtf.

football tonight.

the blues!

**********************************************

i was a lil down a few days back.

unknown reason.

confused again i guess.

damn.

not knowing what to do.

but i don't wanna care anymore.

cuz i don't know what i want anymore.

i am sick of my uncertainty.

selective problem?

lol

you are just so bothering me.

Merry Christmas!!

an early wishes.

lol

*you matters so much to me*

Bliss

Finally i have the time to actually update my blog everyday.

Hmmm.

I was pissed and unhappy now.

Thanks to the match just now.

argh!!!

is alright. just a lost. we are still at the top right xD

I think i gonna get sick so soon.

been sneezing just now.

maybe i am just too tired?

okie.

i seriously have to stop drinking for some time.

i am so blardy unhealthy now.

after the beer that day, my sickness come again.

Hell man.

I felt so darn unwell today.

took some medicine and it is better now.

1 month!!!

1 blardy month!!!

how the hell i gonna do that.

1 blardy month i am not gonna drink!

i can't imagine myself drinking coke at the club.

awww. that is so sad.

i have no choice thou.

Nothing much actually.

i had a great dinner with wei yin and ashley.

and stupid yum cha session.

had a lil stress back then.

but it was all fine now.

money actually settle much of the stuff.

lol

at least i get some time to rest today.

it has been a while since i can actually stay at home and sleep.

hopefully next week, i can be a good boy.

stay at home and cut on the hang out time.

have to make myself healthy before the day come =)

lol

I have no plan for tomorrow.

entertain my family perhaps?

my ipoh relatives are here.

hmm.

i was thinking about going to pc fair....

but tomorrow is the blardy last day.

i can't imagine myself there thou.

I felt a lil lonely today.

cuz she is so far away.

hmm.

and gone missing few hours back.

How can i stop thinking about you?

let see how many days i can hold myself.

haha.

missing you lots =)

i think i should head to bed already.

if not, my face seriously gonna be like shit.

healthy life okie!

i feel so old.

haha.

ciao.

good day ahead.

*I found you in my heart*

Restless

Guess what.

I seriously can't stand it.

so at last, i drank beer with wei yin just now.

lol.

hopeless betul.

I won't die okie.

i am so tired now.

have to wake up so darn early tomorrow.

like 9am?

send my doggy to bath at the clinic.

i need more time to sleep please.

i do hope to go Pc fair but not sure yet.

sure darn a lot of people.

i am kinda sick of it.

Hmm.

my cheese cake was kinda a success.

besides the smell that zoie mention.

every other thing is still alright.

okie. at least it is eatable.

haha.

It looks a lil ugly from here but it taste alright.

=)

but someone said is nice. and like it when it is melted.

hmm. how cute she is xD

Okie.

today i was full of mission to complete.

woke up so early and head to do some many stuff.

then went to petaling street.

yea, to cut tree.

somehow the tree is so advance now.

haha.

i was saying about the christmas tree actually.

and i found one which is so nice.

it was costly.

after getting everything, from deco to the tree.

i headed home with zoie to decorate it.

It was nice after all.

I understand that what you see from this pic is not that attractive at all.

but it looks nicer in real life. lol

Then tada.

i am done with one mission.

haha.

omg.

i am so sleepy now.

i will tersleep any time now.

********************************************

ZZZZ.

Hopeless.

i ended up tersleep.

now pula the next morning.

can't wake up laaaa.

but i have no choice.

damn.

alright.

gtg.

missing you.

ciao.

*What should i do with you?*