Consequences

Well i know is late now.

i should be a pig already but i just can't sleep yet.

have to wake up early tomorrow.

what to do, i am a night person.

sigh~

i guess i am emo again.

i am not surprise at all thou.

someone just keep bothering me.

starting classes this week.

i have no class on monday.

so going for lecture tomorrow.

gonna be in the same class with piggy.

hopefully is a good thing.

guess i am gonna be more responsible after all.

new semester, new mission please.

i don't wanna be like last time anymore.

perhaps i should be more strict to myself.

set rules, make plans and organize everything.

well, so i am gonna say that this week is the last time i being emo.

it means that when tutorial starts, i am not gonna be emo.

most important, no love problem to affect my studies anymore.

then, this week i probably gonna be emo.

cuz is the last time.

come to think of it, i am such a coward.

i always never dare to make the first move.

and regret after that.

sigh~

am i that useless?

Jay, just take it or leave it.

if u think that is not to late to get back what u lost, just do what you need to do.

if u think getting back won't do you good, just let it go.

it will only make u suffer.

use this week to think.

i know is hard.

well, nothing is not tough.

there must be a solution.

don't runaway from the problem, face it.

what you lose?

if u keep being like this, it will do you no good.

i know u will keep thinking and missing.

but think of the other way.

what if u get back, will it also affect your life?

think of the best one.

and again, there are many people in the world, why stick to one?

if god make it this way, maybe u will have a better one in the future right.

well, if god thinks that this is the one then u will get a solution.

the problem is only that, Jay is not daring.

one characteristic will the solution.

but the matter is whether you can overcome it or not.

see, one nature about human is we will only appreciate when we don't have it anymore.

funny isn't it?

i find it so true.

i have slowly learn to think like an adult.

sometimes i find huanrock's words kinda useful.

he really gave me an idea to be a better person.

gonna be 3am.

my mind is full of this someone.

i find it a joke.

that i actually care now.

that i actually feel sad about it.

i miss you.

i do hope that you will think about me still.

due date is this sunday.

3rd August.

i got another 6 days to think.

think of what to do.

this is a mission that must be complete.

and remind myself again.

this week is the last time i being emo.

guess i should head to bed now.

before i think too much and sleep darn late.

update when anything happen.

promise gonna update when due date arrive.

ciaoz.

"letting go is hard to do"

word of the day = coward

Jay @ stoned

Closer

Well, been 2 weeks huh.

i have no idea what have i been doing recently.

is just like so busy.

don't even have the time to actually do something.

so, work already gone a week.

then rest for like 2 or 3 days.

didn't even hang out actually.

damn, how sad is my life man.

then on friday, went yum cha with joe.

saturday pula busy at for nothing.

oh yea, watch tvb show.

sunday pula, went to genting.

with mum, aunt, MG and piggy.

kinda nice trip.

but bad thing do happen.

i dropped my wallet at the so called snow world.

dammit, obviously i am panic.

actually i am more worry about my prada wallet instead of the cash inside.

haha.

i found back my wallet but the cash gone.

i wonder who is the fucker man.

but lucky not much cash thou.

sigh~

it kinda spoiled my mood.

back on monday then.

tiring trip.

actually went a lil clubbing with piggy.

that place really sucks man.

haven't fully recharge yet man.

then today pula went watch movie with piggy, vfang, ben and jo.

watched "the dark knight".

i love this show.

well, Heath Ledger is really a good actor.

i was really impressed by the joker role.

he act it so real.

but too bad, so wasted he wasn't here anymore.

honestly, i love batman since i was small.

haha

what a joke right.

i think he is the coolest hero.

XD

and damn.

his car is so darn cool.

opps, not to forget.

i watched hellboy last week.

it was not bad too.

kinda funny thou.

argh, need more time to actually catch all those nice movies.

i just don't know why i am just so busy.

tired~

i feel so lonely.

haha.

i am thinking too much again.

trying to live my life without her.

is funny right?

didn't know she actually do affect my life.

guess i am really too soft-hearted.

fall in love easily perhaps.

but now, i am glad i handle it well.

trying not to be emo or moody.

trying to let go.

and single is good!

is good to keep myself busy thou.

so that i can think less.

=)

i am tired now.

need to service my car tomorrow.

so gotta ciaoz now.

"why so serious?"

word of the day = let go

Jay @ sleeping

 

Unstable

Promise u guys that i will update before starting work right.

so here i am.

not so much in a good condition.

well, not hang over of cuz.

i am not that lousy. lol

just sort of mental influences.

haa~

sure would be getting what am i talking here right?

come on, life is just so unpredictable right.

the last time i update was on friday.

just 2 days from there, so many things changed.

look at how "miracle" life is.

sigh~

i am sort of depression.

yea again and yes again.

told u guys that i will be in a bad situation after june right.

well, it has to be true.

every year after june, life just getting sucks.

maybe this is what i am suppose to go through huh?

yesterday was a bad day.

things just happened.

not like i can handle them nicely.

so i guess i screw up.

i fought with piggy,

for some reasons.

i didn't blame her, i was the one that bought things up.

i don't know why.

seems like i purposely did it.

why?

cuz i knew what she did long ago.

but i didn't ask her till yesterday.

i wanna see how long she can keep lying to me.

i am not dumb pls.

u think i am dumb enough to believe her.

like what she said, i don't wanna quarrel.

i am not pissed bcuz she got a bf.

i am pissed that she lied to me.

every fucking time she said i don't wanna share anything with her, said we are so close and all.

alah, bullshit ok.

she is the one that never share.

what's the fucking point then?

i admit that there's one thing i never share with her.

but i am not like her.

from my point of view, i just feel that she lied to me way too much.

fine, fine.

i really don't wanna quarrel with her.

i just feel hurt some how.

i can't face that it was so malu to actually fought with her at poppy.

sigh~

well, i was stress.

so yesterday, i really no idea who am i already.

i was totally mad.

first time ever i dance like that.

i wanna let go, throw away all the fucking things that bother me.

i feel good that at least during that period, i was stress-free.

and another thing.

i got the feeling that she was at poppy too.

well, is true.

she was there, but we just don't have the faith to bump into each other.

sigh~

she is one of the reason i being stress too.

i couldn't believe it that she actually made an impact in my life.

thanks ar.

thanks for those girls that made me sad and pissed, also hurt me so much.

just fuck it ok.

fuck it away.

i don't wanna fucking bother.

FUCK IT alright.

starting to work tomorrow till 13th.

gonna be darn tiring.

hopefully gonna be a good week.

won't be here then.

anything find me at midvalley.

that's all for now.

kinda mental problem already.

" Is not easy to be a human."

Jay @ depression

Addiction

Guess what?

i think i am gonna be darn busy from now on.

hmm, the reason would be....

hee~

well, i will be working next week.

but that's not the reason at all.

cuz i have a new addiction.

wuahaha~

finally huh~

for more info, i guess u guys should look at the pic below.

so u get what i mean now?

aiks~

yes! my new addiction would be my latest PSP.

wohoo!!

i though i would never get one in my life.

but then dream comes true.

hahaha~

this is a gift from piggy actually, for my birthday.

woo, look at how sweet she is.

hee ~

alright, that's all.

will update before starting work (or maybe not)

gonna head to my new addiction now~

ciaoz~

Jay @ superb excited

Leaving

Girl, What's wrong?

leaving me here all alone

without even saying anything at all

it keeps me wonder

wonder what would  be the reason

and felt so much of a fool

Thanks for walking out from my life

for all that u have been through

for being the girl that love me more than i do

thanks for those memories and pain

but too bad,

u have gave up,

i am letting go,

we are leaving.

Maybe u have realized

letting go is the only way for u

loving me is a waste of time

i don't mind

cuz lying is not part of my life

Thanks for walking out from my life

for all that u have been through

for being there for me always

thanks for wasting your time on an ass like me

what had been the reason?

is not about u,

but is all about me

i am being selfish

neglect your feelings

hurting u, pulling u down

i am sorry

i am just not worth for u.

Thanks for walking out from my life

for all that u have been through

for being the girl that love me more than i do

for being there for me always

but too bad,

we are leaving.

thanks for everything.