Silent

I suppose don't have the time to even update my blog.

fuck ibpf seriously. i hate finance. i don't even know how to start it.

now i am blardy stuck at don't know where. sigh.

this assignment is making me crazy.

i am really exhausted. tension to the max.

i can't stand my face at all. my hair. my physically appearances are like shit now.

i could really look like a vampire. i wonder when can i stop living a life like this?

i feel tired mentally and physically. not enough sleep at all. my afternoon nap didn't work out due to some reason. sigh.

Ever since last week. been ups and downs. mostly downs.

when is all this gonna stop? pity me a lil please.

i hate all this. i hate the feeling. my last weekend was great. due to my emo-ness.

wasted two days just emo and do nothing at all. just drunk. i feel darn suffering.

not to mention all sort of stupid problems or dramas. i really had enough of this.

can you stop this, god? please.

i can feel my emotional breakdown session gonna come real soon.

the season of emo-ness now huh? i wonder seriously.

sometimes i just wish i could live a simple life. a simple life with happiness even with nothing at all.

i want to shout out loud with everything inside me. I am tired of keeping it to myself.

i wanna go some places where i can shout my lung out. shout till my tears flow.

men do cry sometimes okie. well, must be those women's fault la. lol

I don't know why. i just couldn't continue writing anymore. it's like my mind is so blank.

i don't wanna think. physically heart pain again. hate this =(

i get offended seriously, so fuck off okie.

take care peeps. hope this emo season gonna end real soon. before i can stand being alive.

i could really use a wish right now.

ciaoz.

*sometimes i choose not to talk at all cause i just want some peacefulness*

Us

*Stones,

heavy like the love you've shown,

solid as the ground we've known,

and i just wanna carry on.

we took it from the bottom up,

and even in a desert storm,

sturdy as a rock, we hold,

wishing every moment froze.

Now i just wanna let you know,

earthquake can't shake us,

cyclones can't break us,

hurricanes can't take away our love.

pyramid, we built this on a solid rock,

It feel just like it's heaven's touch,

together at the top,

like a pyramid.

and even when the wind is blowing,

we will never fall, just keep on going,

forever we will stay,

just like a pyramid. *

Well, this is just part of the lyrics i get from the song, "pyramid by charice".

i know this song kinda old.

This song is awesome and the lyrics too.

fucking meaningful seriously.

loving it.

dedicate it to my sweetheart =)

you guys must be wondering why the hell i am still blogging at this hour right.

it's kinda weird thou.

it's like 3.40 am now. i can't go back to sleep.

I woke up at 2.30am just now after heading to bed at 11pm.

i was a lil unwell, down with flu and sore throat.

i hate being sick. it somehow make me feel weak and the medic, argh. make me feel restless.

i am glad i am slightly better now. as in physically, not mentally.

Basically thanks to sweetheart that i am not going back to sleep.

not that i blame her or what, just that i am worry that's why.

i hate the feeling of waking up not knowing what actually just happened.

like everything is so messy and you can do nothing about it.

for me, i got annoyed. i don't like it, i will turn moody for instance.

sometimes i don't understand what is with girls' brain?

no offense.

i don't know what are they thinking. as in i seriously don't know how to say it.

why can't they talk when they got a problem.

put aside this, i mean why can't they know that actually being moody is not the way to solve anything.

maybe, yea like what we always say, "pms".

okie, excuse.

why can't they think about other's feeling too? as in please aware that there is somebody there who is worry about you.

i admit i am a lil unhappy now.

i seriously hate the feeling of seeing my loved one being moody and i actually can't help.

and what is worst, i don't fucking know anything.

and even worst, make me feel like i didn't actually be there for her when she needed me.

cuz i woke up realizing this. wtf.

okie. i should be chilling now.

Looks like my turn of not being able to sleep now.

great.

since i don't have much time to blog during the human time.

well, then i should post more during this vampire time.

Jay Cullen Moh is back.

nightclub city should be the only stuff that gonna accompany me at this hour.

better still, then i can spend more time on my studies tomorrow.

drinking so much water make me keep go to pee pee at this hour.

no choice thou, water should be the only medicine to all sort of sickness i would say.

Sigh.

today is 18th of May already. wtf.

so fucking fast right. then gonna be June.

and presentation plus finals. kill me please.

not knowing how am i gonna talk things out with the family man.

maybe let the time comes only i think about it.

i am glad that two fellas that spam my tweet wall actually went to sleep now.

so basically is my turn now. lol

I just come to realize.

that i am much more creative during the vampire time.

lol.

maybe i am really abnormal. plus half vampire. what to do xD

another long essay i would say.

Maybe i should stay awake till the sun comes out. good idea.

looks who is being moody now?

haha.

*i know we didn't know each other well at first. not knowing what brought us here. not knowing what brought you to me. we were just friends. Got upside down for some time and not knowing what brought it back. Not knowing that making my first step toward change lead me to you. I doubted all the time, why it has to be you? After all that we had been through, look at who am i now, who you are now. I never regret for being who am i now. I am glad that i actually had the courage to change. I know i was once a failure, but i don't look back. i keep going, not afraid of being fail again. I was in shit few months back but i never give up. knowing that things will get better, miracle do happens, hard work do pay off, good people do deserve a chance.

Ever since you came to me, i look at things at a different perspective. we wouldn't know if we don't try at all. Spending time with you were great, you took my breath away. Not knowing what got me so into you, but i just can't stop falling. Not knowing what so special about you, but i just can't stop trying. I always believe in hard work do pay off, and never give up. You probably the reason that i keep going on in my life now. After all the shit i went through, i realized sometimes we are just to blind to see, what is right for us. At the certain point of time, i wanted to give up but you were there. You are the reason that i am not giving up, even i know i gonna fall like thousand time till i get my success. You brought a meaning to my life.

my 2010 were great, even just the five months time but i am loving it cause i got you. You never fail to put a smile on my face every single day. that's how you brighten up my days. i know sometimes we might have some misunderstanding or conflict, i am sorry for not being understanding and being the one that actually acting weird. I love you for who you are, not what you did or how you look. Just the heart i am saying, the person, the only one that i am attached to. I don't care how people look at this, i don't give a damn cause nobody gonna replace you in my heart. Nothing gonna take my love away from you, it will grow more each day but not any lesser. You guys might thinks that i must be bullshitting here, maybe i am, but this is what comes from my heart.

i might be running out of words for you, but i won't be running out of love for you. There will be no restock-able of love for me toward you cause my love for you is unlimited, eternity. Nothing gonna tear us apart, not even any disaster cause i make sure i gonna be there to protect you and stay with you all the time. Nothing can ever stop our happiness cause i will try my very best to make you smile, keep you happy all time. I couldn't stop loving a sweetheart like you, even when you pissed me off, i don't seems to get you out of my mind. God seems to take control of my life now cause he sent me an angel like you. I am loosing control, i can't feel my heart beating anymore, i am so weak. You got me going crazy, i just hate it when i am not seeing you for a day. You can't seems to get out from my mind, can't seems to get out from my heart too.

loving you is the new chapter in my life, probably the best chapter of all. Thank you for being with me all the time and bear with my stupid bull head attitudes. I walking toward an unknown journey but no matter how it's gonna be, i know you are there for me. I love you more than what i could actually say here. I could continue writing them but it doesn't matter if it's not true. Action speaks louder than words. I will prove to you instead of writing all sort of sweet words here. I want the best for you cause you are truly my loving sweetheart.*

Told you that i tend to be more active and creative during the vampire hour right.

see, that's the prove.

i can't seems to stop writing. haha.

i think i created some nice sentences here thou.

How good if i am apply this skill in my assignment and studies.

i probably the best student already xD

opps. it's 5am now.

but i don't feel sleepy at all.

i am thinking. what can i do now?

everyone is sleeping now. hmmmm.

okie, i need some songs.

i seems to be very outdated already.

cause i don't even know when is Jay Chou's album gonna out.

not even listen to his first single =.=

okie okie. i should stop writing here.

and get going with something else before my reader fall asleep reading this.

ciaoz peeps.

*I don't need any reason to love you, but i need a reason to stop loving you*

Bravo

Another sunday post pula.

Blogging on sunday is kinda good actually.

cause i can easily crap all the shits that happened for the whole week.

Haha.

Well, it gonna depends on my memory thou.

sometimes i tend to be a lil short-term memories lost.

lol.

like what Em said, "let's bring it back".

i tot she is blardy sad now, pula playing nightclub city till very gembira =.=

This week was a hell busy week.

Assignments almost got me killed.

argh!

those were really some nightmare for me.

especially the marketing plan. That is one fucking shit that i sacrifice so much for.

Days with sleepless night, without proper meals and ugly face.

All for that marketing plan. I won't ask for more, i just want a good grade from this blardy plan seriously.

I almost skipped like 70% of my classes to do this assignment. hell.

i wonder how gomathi gonna kill me this coming thursday after being m.i.a for continuously 3 classes.

Help me. Not to forget, Lisa too.

Okie. Hopefully i am gonna attend all the classes next week. lol.

I am just worry that Lisa gonna shoot me laaa.

About this week. nothing much basically.

all about assignment.

on thursday night, went to Benji Moh's birthday party at his crib.

i was totally exhausted cause i just finish my assignment.

Didn't really eat much there too.

but hahahaha..

i got my revenge!

Bravo!

I smashed his face at the cake. lol

It was quite fun.

Ohh, and got a new name for barbie and babi gemuk.

They are the "b.a.b.i twins".

lol

i went back kinda early too. was superb tired.

Next day got up blardy late like 2pm. lol

and then, the nagging comes.

my sweetheart complaining hungry and all.

but somehow, we got off the house at 5pm.

haha.

well, my friday is always like this. my activities only start from the evening time.

and i usually got like 1 or 2 meals. even with lots of sleep still feel tired.

suppose wanted to go movie secretly with my sweetheart to watch ironman. without letting our Em know. *please don't come scold me okie* lol

mana tau....

ben and Em called ask to go movie.

so at last, went to watch "a nightmare on elm street" @ 1u.

Hopeless xian keep shout for no reason. lol.

Mr Freddy come looking for you!

I wasn't feeling well that night.

but then still managed to go makan supper pula.

got home and attack by those stupid smell.

and guess what is that smell.

since thursday night, hell man.

stupid dead rat above my room ceiling make my blardy whole room smell like shit.

even worst than the smell of shit okie.

i almost die man.

Got up on saturday morning. feeling so unwell.

finally i got sick.

sore throat and fever.

drop my two hopeless creatures to the vet then went to the doctor.

damn.

got home eat medicine then sleep.

after two hours, wake up due to some weird dreams.

called sweetheart, she was moody and sad. so i talked to her for some time just to make her feel better.

then continue to sleep again.

dinner with the family then head to old town with sweetheart to do some studies.

That stupid smell still bothering my room so ended up i sleep at tv room yesterday night.

sadness shit.

woke up this afternoon, realized that everyone went out except the maid.

wondering around the house and staying in my room make me sick.

so went to low yat with Em and sweetheart.

Em wanted to upgrade her cpu stuff but ended up she spend more than her expectation.

haha.

sorry la, not my fault. just that your comp supa old already. lol

then help sweetheart to look out for some lappy stuff.

Oh yea.

Some happy news =)

Chelsea won the EPL and FA cup!

The Blues double is my best birthday present xD

and not to forget, Lakers got to the Western Conference Finals.

Hopefully they can get through this.

omg. why am i keep sneezing here.

argh!

heading to college at 7am tomorrow.

so darn early. sick of that stupid parking laa.

gonna go to ikea with the aunt tomorrow pula.

lots of stuff to carry. pity me this old man. lol.

i can't sleep yet. i have to wait to start my hotel shift =.=

addicted to hotel city and nightclub city pula. mati betul.

another assignment coming up. due on the 27th.

then after that i gonna start studying already.

Pity my sweetheart.

need to do assignments and worry bout her finals pula =(

Don't worry okie, i am always here to help you and be there for you when you need me.

Love you as always ♥

I am starting to feel a lil sleepy now.

hahaha.

thinking about tomorrow.

damn.

another monday and here comes another week.

my money keeps going out pula.

i think my new wallet doesn't "wong" me laaa.

lol

i feel like eating Kfc pula. wtf.

huhu.

i think i gonna stop here.

to update more whenever i am free.

night peeps.

good life ahead please.

*I can't get you out of my mind, this is so bothering. What is worst, i can't get you out of my heart either*

Great

It's 3.30am.

I am tired but i just can't sleep.

I don't want tomorrow to be here.

I am worry about next week.

Sigh.

This whole week had been really crazy.

from monday, i got assignment due.

classes and everything. wtf.

i feel so fucked up sometimes.

Please bear with me now.

I am a lil down and unhappy now.

so my words can be really offensive.

Got this fucking lizard in my room. I have no idea where the hell it came from. wtfff.

This blardy creature is seriously bothering me. Spoil mood like fuck.

Argh!!

I don't know what is wrong with me now. I just got so emotional.

Sigh.

Don't remind me please.

I seriously think that today is my bad day. It seems like everything doesn't go my way.

I try to be positive thinking but i failed.

Maybe i should crap some nice stuff here. Hmmm.

Thursday was my birthday. 6th.

I wish i could have birthday every month seriously.

Cause i got one good bunch of friends that actually care so much about me.

Not to forget, my sweetheart too.

I couldn't ask for more. It was the best birthday bash i ever had.

It was a great birthday =)

I had great food at WIP for dinner and great club session at zouk.

but i just don't know why it actually end so darn fast.

and of cause, drunk and hangover.

got the cake smash on my face. thanks to benji moh.

and whoever that spoil the cake. wtf.

Thanks my Em for making the plan works.

and also your present xD

i couldn't find any Em like this.

haha.

My sweetheart is the best i would say.

i know it in my heart.

thanks for the gift, i seriously didn't expect it.

You did so much to make the plan works.

i just couldn't love you any lesser.

and again, Thanks to The Mohs. for giving me a memorable birthday.

i just couldn't imagine not having The Mohs by my side.

I will always be the best and hopeless CEO for you guys. lol

Went to movie just now.

watched "diary of a whimpy kid". it was nice and funny.

still haven't watch Ironman. the review said it's sucks.

so maybe i should just get the dvd instead.

gonna watch ip man again tomorrow with the family.

this week seriously an eventful week.

next week gonna be assignment week. sigh

god bless me man.

when i think of my marketing plan. i seriously feel like dying.

we didn't even start it.

how hopeless laaaa.

Sigh.

last match for EPL tomorrow.

I am nervous.

Tomorrow gonna be one stressful day laaa.

I have no idea how Chelsea gonna perform but i wish them luck.

God bless please.

and Nba Playoffs, Lakers looking good to proceed to the finals =)

Omg.

It's 4 now.

feels like i just got back from club.

hmmm. how could this happen?

i guess i am just too stress.

i should think less and study more.

Alright, i gonna do my works for the whole afternoon tomorrow.

Loving my sweetheart.

i really don't know what else to say anymore.

words just can't express how much i love her anymore.

i guess is over the border line.

Looks like i am so dead.

lol

I guess i should sleep real soon.

i should update more this month.

night peeps.

have a great month ahead =)

*Sometimes when you love someone too deep, it's hurts*

Lesson

Again again and again.
I am suppose to be doing my Ps assignment.
but here i am blogging. wtf.

I feel so bored.
one week of study break got me further away from the studies.
arrr.
i hate this. I wanna stop being lazy.
someone please help me =(

It's end of the month already.
and next week, my big day.
i wonder.... so many stuff to wonder about.
well, maybe i should just put all that aside first.
studies come first.
i am so broke =(
got myself an early birthday present and it costs me a bomb.
lol
but i really love it lots.

May approaching. next it's gonna be June.
it's so freaking fast.
then soon it gonna be the end of my semester.
sometimes i couldn't accept the fact that everything changed so darn fast.
just a blink of eyes, i am here. with everything i used to wish for.
a good bunch of friends, nice families, average studies (oppsss) and of cause one loving sweetheart.
i couldn't ask for more, seriously.
well, maybe i would only ask for more cash XD

I would say this is life.
in certain point of time, you go through shit.
but the next period, you might be in happiness.
we can't predict nor judge it.
ups and downs. All of us have to go through this. Nothing is gonna be perfect. a good life without obstacles? It's gonna be hard to find.
I put faith in my life, knowing it doesn't have to be sucks all the time.
Believing that everything happens for a reason.
Believe that god will help those in need, help those who help themselves and of cause help those who work for it.
I admit i am not so much of a religious man, i don't go to church for like ages nor go to a temple every month and not to forget, i am a free thinker, but somehow i believe in god.

Sometimes i got myself into deep though.
looking back at my past.
i don't feel regret of any of it, i know i learned.
i changed. to a better person of cause.
we did lots of mistakes, knowing that if we don't make mistakes, we don't get to learn at all.
I feel ashamed for some stuff i did which i don't even have the chance to heal it.
Memories? i got so much of them.
but i only keep the happy ones.
look at where you are now? and you think about it.
look what god had got you into? Don't you think that you need to go through all to get to where you are now?
So why feel regret about your past?

I don't know what has got into me now? I know i sounds like an old man with wise words. lol
Well, maybe i am really old. haha.
I am not emo, i just wanna share my though.

"Well it was just a dream,
Just a moment ago,
I was up so high, Lookin down at the sky,
Don't let me fall.
I was shooting for stars, On a saturday night,
They say what goes up, Must come down,
But dont let me fall."

Got this from the song by B.O.B, Don't let me fall.
I love this part and i love this song.
Don't let me fall god. Not now. I don't want this to end so quickly.
i know nothing's built to last but i know my faith can make it last.

Speaking about songs. I got so addicted to these two songs.
"Sing like me" by Chris Brown and "Need you now" by Lady Antebellum.

"Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now"

I love this part man!

this crazy thing we called love.
when we got it and we just can't get enough of it.
your life changed when you have the someone special.
you feel that your life is so complete and thinking that you don't need anything else but him/her.
You are doing things that you wouldn't do.
sometimes you can't fall asleep at night cause you miss that someone too much.
lol.

I admit i fall real deep.
that sometimes i can't breathe.
i can't feel my heart beat cause you took my heart away.
i can't sleep at night just to use the time to think about you.
sometimes i wish i could see you every single day till i got myself to your place XD
i love seeing your sweet smile, therefore i tend to eat sweet less so that i won't get diabetes.
all my life, i waited for someone like you.
deep inside the corner of my mind, i am attached to you.
everyday is a miracle for me cause i found you.
you drive me crazy and i am helpless when you smile.
My love for you is out of control and i just can't let it go.
i will only love you more but not less.
I will be always by your side no matter what happen.
i give you my words, i give you my heart.
without you in my life, i just won't be living at all.
sometimes i wonder why i will fall for you.
i wonder why i love you so deep to let go.
i just can't find the answer at all till i found it in my heart.
you bring out the best in me like no one else can do.
Thank you for being the part of my life.
I thank god everyday cause you are the greatest gift from god to me.
love my sweetheart supa lots =)
sorry that at times i make you sad and angry. maybe i am just dumb but i really do care so much about you.

Wth.
i am like writing a real long essay.
how good if this is my assignment.
=.=
i think got like 1000 words in here already.
haha.
i couldn't sleep and my class is at 8am tomorrow.
i need to reach college at like 7am.
cause it getting lots and lots of people in the college now.
like pasar.
insufficient parking is making me crazy. and i need more food =(

Hotel city and Tiki Resort are driving me crazy.
i can't stop playing them, addicted like shit.
I can't concentrate at my assignment at all. die heart betul.
i really must at least finish 1000 words tomorrow if not i am not gonna sleep.
argh!
I want a nice weekend without assignment bothering me.

Lakers Game 5 later.
Hell. It looks hard for them. Hopefully they can win this.
and go all the way to the finals.
stupid astro no live for playoffs. wtf. only certain days.

I should stop here.
next update should be next month.
night peeps.
=)

*You are the greatest gift from god*